This morning on the way to the office, we chatted about the rich-poor divide.
Jenny had learned that the rich felt that any time you
show any sort of kindness to the poorer, they will ask you for something.
I have to say, I have experienced this in Botswana.
I have written before about our “office boy”, he’s helped
me out with some errands while I’ve been here:
-
helping me purchase a local cell phone
-
re-soleing and heeling my shoes
-
getting pants hemmed
-
washing our house car
-
and every day, carrying my bags from the car to
the office…
So given the opportunity, I
sometimes give him little gifts (in addition to providing a tip each time he
goes out on an errand for me). For example, upon my return from Cape Town, I
brought him two huge chocolate bars (his request) and a t-shirt.
Now do you remember the “tea
lady” I spoke of in an earlier post?
She brings us a tray of hot
water, instant coffee and tea every day then cleans up in the afternoon.
She is pleasant enough but
lately has been asking for gifts.
For example, she asked me if I forgot
to bring her present when she saw Belé’s.
A little forward I thought,
especially after subsequent requests.
And Jenny had a story from one
of the “Real Housewives of Phakalane” too.
The “housewife” told of a caddy
at the golf course who had befriended her.
The caddy was a skilled
mechanic and finally found a full-time job at a reputable business.
While confirming his first day
of work on Monday, his new employer confirmed that he had his own tools. Not
wanting to lose the opportunity, he said yes.
Not having the money to
purchase these tools, he turned to the “housewife” who he had been caddying for
for some time.
She agreed to buy them for him,
a full set of tools cost the equivalent of about $500 CDN.
And so I’ve been thinking.
Is this too forward?
Is there a limit to the
generosity of others?
What’s the difference between
the caddy and the tea lady?
The divide between rich and
poor in this country is so great that if these new tools were the difference
between a life of poverty or self sufficiency for this man (and his family), I
would probably buy the tools for him also…even though I truly should be
spending that money on my mortgage or paying a student loan. So why is the
repeated request from the tea lady for a present so annoying?
Would you give her a present?
Just something I’ve been contemplating
in my last few days here in Gaborone.
Aside – as I wrote this, the tea
lady in question stopped by and proclaimed, “I am waiting for a present…for a
baby boy.” I could do nothing but smile.
I know exactly where you're coming from... In my time living in Africa, I experienced this every day (or so it seemed). The more caring or generous I was, the greater the demands for 'more' became.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until I started my volunteer trips to Guatemala that I learned to stop creating dependency. Call them gifts, random acts of kindness or acts of caring, they inevitably end up with demands for more. Hence I try to channel my charitable acts and giving through organizations that can deliver to those that truly need, in a controlled and non-dependency creating way.
It's really tough if you are a caring and sensitive person by nature. The 'takers' seem to be able to zero in on the 'carers' and givers', and then skillfully milk them bit by bit!
The "Real Housewife..." example is one where it would appear that a $500 investment in the caddy's future earning and survival abilities, created future independence, which is what we should probably all be aiming to do.
So looking forward to hearing about many more of your experiences!
By the time you get back to Canada, there's a 50/50 chance that winter might finally be over... Maybe!
David thank you for your insight! I look forward to sharing more of my experiences with you also! See you soon!
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